The Mind - Ally or Tyrant?
Part 3: Pathway to Self-Sovereignty: Reclaiming Your Freedom from Within
by Katie Simons, PharmD, BCPS
The Mind: A Powerful Ally, Not the Master
The mind is one of the most fascinating and intricate tools we have—capable of logic, creativity, and deep introspection, but also capable of running us in circles if left to run the show unmastered. When mastered, it is the control board of our beautiful ships, aka bodies, that we experience this life in and through. When unmastered, it's like an over-caffeinated narrator, filling every quiet moment with commentary, analysis, and predictions, some of which are useful and some of which are just noise.
As a species, we have developed incredible cognitive abilities, but we’ve also made the mistake of believing we are our minds—that every thought, fear, or passing worry must be us and must be true. We are so over-identified with the endless chatter that we’ve forgotten that the mind is meant to be a tool and ally, not a tyrant. And when it runs the show unchecked, it dictates our actions based on old conditioning, fear-based narratives, and unconscious patterns. Instead of working with us, the mind loops through anxiety, over-analysis, and self-doubt, keeping us stuck in outdated stories and disconnected from the present moment.
Most people unknowingly operate in a state of mental autopilot, allowing conditioned thoughts, past experiences, and sense of mind as self to dictate the present reality. The result? A disconnect from true presence, intuition, the body, and the vast intelligence that exists beyond thought. When the mind dominates, it silences the body’s wisdom, dismisses gut instincts, and keeps us spinning in cycles of overthinking instead of actually experiencing life.
But here’s the thing—the mind itself isn’t the problem. It’s just untrained. Just like an untrained horse, an untamed mind can run wild—dictating our actions, reactions, and emotions without discernment, making choices for us before we even realize it. The goal is not to suppress or villainize the mind or ego but to cultivate a conscious relationship with it, one in which we harness its power rather than being controlled by it.
Self-sovereignty requires a radical paradigm shift from mental passivity to active engagement with and observation of thought. It is the process of stepping out of habitual patterns and into a state of presence, where the mind becomes a tool for expansion rather than limitation. Mastery of the mind is not about achieving absolute stillness all the time, but rather about learning to guide thoughts with awareness and intentionality. The mind, when aligned with sovereignty, serves as a bridge between personal power and the deeper wisdom that lies beyond it.
Acknowledging the Reality of Safety and Survival
Before we move forward, it’s important to acknowledge that often, safety is an internal practice—one of regulating the nervous system and shifting out of fear-based control. But for many, physical safety is a fundamental concern in a world where oppression, violence, and instability still exist.
For those of us who live in unsafe environments or who experience ongoing trauma, survival mode is not just an outdated mechanism; it is an active and necessary function of protection. This is particularly true for many women and marginalized groups, who must constantly assess their surroundings for potential threats. The nervous system, in these cases, is not overreacting—it is responding exactly as it was evolutionarily designed to do.
With this in mind, we must hold space for the nuance of this discussion. While it is true that self-sovereignty requires learning to regulate the nervous system and release unnecessary fear-based control, it is equally true that the mind and body will not let go of hypervigilance until external, physical safety is established. Healing, in these instances, must be both internal and systemic. Holding this dual reality with awareness allows us to approach self-sovereignty with greater compassion—for ourselves and for others navigating a world where safety is not guaranteed.
This conversation isn’t about bypassing the real, external barriers to safety, but rather, recognizing that healing must take place on both the internal and systemic levels. When true security is in place, self-sovereignty can be fully embodied, allowing us to reclaim our power without needing to operate from fear.
The Default Mode Network: Breaking the Loop
There was a moment in life when I realized that my own mind was bullying me—relentlessly whispering self-doubt, spinning catastrophized, worst-case scenarios, and convincing me of things about myself that simply weren’t true. It would tell me I wasn’t capable, that I was failing, that something bad was always just around the corner. And the worst part—I believed it, and I reacted to it. I thought that because these thoughts were happening in my head, they must be true. I mean, why would I lie to myself?
But then it hit me: What if my mind isn't actually all of me? What if my mind wasn’t telling the truth? What if it was just repeating old stories? And even more than that—what if I didn’t have to listen? That realization was monumental because, for the first time, I saw my mind as an observable part from me, something that could be questioned.
If you have read some of my other articles on mindfulness, tapering medications, and the power of psychedelics, you will have run into the conversation on the default mode network (DMN). The DMN is the parts and pathways of the brain that I was interacting with in the above scenarios. It's the background operating system of the brain, running in autopilot mode, looping past experiences into present-day identity. It is also thought to be the neural pathways associated with the psychology of the ego, and therefore, is deeply entrenched in our concept of self. It is the mechanism that keeps us anchored to and personally identified with familiar, past narratives, often without us even realizing it.
The DMN is necessary for habit formation, efficiency, and protection from things that are dangerous, but it can also be a trap, reinforcing subconscious patterns, limiting beliefs, and conditioned responses learned through fear, trauma, and false narratives that hold us back. The DMN keeps us locked in cycles of thought and behavior that we didn’t consciously choose, leading to repetitive life experiences and a sense of stagnation.
Most of us spend our lives unknowingly caught in the DMN’s loops of thought—identifying with self-talk as if it’s absolute truth rather than a programmed response based on past experiences. If we were told as children that we weren’t good enough, or if we lived in a household where we had to prove our worth through achievement, the DMN preserves those beliefs, replaying them every time we encounter a challenge. It’s like an overzealous security system, convinced that it’s keeping us safe by reminding us of past struggles—but in reality, it’s keeping us stuck.
And this is where self-awareness disrupts the loop. The moment we begin to question, Is this thought actually true? Is this story even mine?, we create a break in the pattern. This is not a one-time revelation but an ongoing practice of observing thought patterns, questioning automatic beliefs and reactions, and intentionally reprogramming the mind to align with our desired reality. This is how we reclaim sovereignty over the mind—not by fighting every thought that arises, but by recognizing the difference between old programming and present truth.
The Conscious vs. Subconscious Mind: Who’s Driving?
Most of the neural pathways on the DMN operate in the subconscious mind, out of sight of conscious awareness. The conscious mind is the aspect of our cognition that engages in active thought, analysis, and decision-making. It is where we set intentions, make logical deductions, and perceive ourselves in the present moment. However, the subconscious mind is far more influential in shaping our behaviors, habits, and reactions—it is the storehouse of deeply ingrained beliefs, past experiences, and automated responses.
Our subconscious runs most of the show, dictating around 95% of our daily actions. The irony here is our conscious mind and ego are obsessed with control, all the while most of what we experience is the result of subconscious, conditioned programming rather than conscious choice. The subconscious mind is not inherently working against us—it exists to streamline processes, ensuring efficiency in navigating the world. Without it, we would be overwhelmed by the sheer amount of sensory data and decisions we face each day. Imagine having to manually remind yourself how to walk every time you stood up! However, this same efficiency can also keep us trapped in old patterns, particularly if those patterns were shaped by trauma, limiting beliefs, or social conditioning.
One of the most profound realizations on the path to self-sovereignty is recognizing that when we desire something different than our current reality, there is often a part of us that is still subconsciously choosing the status quo. Ever felt like you’re sabotaging yourself or just avoiding or resisting change, even when you consciously want something different? That’s because the subconscious is wired for familiarity. Even when an old pattern is painful or no longer serves us, the subconscious perceives it as safe because it's known. Change, on the other hand, is unknown—and the mind doesn’t like unknowns. Until we bring these unconscious patterns to the surface and consciously rewire them, we will continue to recreate the same cycles.
So, how do we change it? Awareness. The first step in shifting subconscious influence is learning to recognize the patterns that are running the show. This requires deep self-inquiry, observation, and patience. Ask yourself: Where in my life am I repeating the same situations or emotions? What beliefs are driving my behaviors? Is there a part of me that benefits from keeping things the way they are? Practices like meditation, journaling, and somatic work help us see these subconscious loops more clearly. Once we can see these loops clearly, we can begin the process of rewriting them. By repeatedly engaging the conscious mind in reinforcing new beliefs and actions, we reshape the subconscious to support our growth rather than hinder it.
Never Waste a Good Trigger
Triggers are life's way of showing us where we still have work to do, and they are one of the best ways to bring awareness to subconscious programming. Triggers are the body's perception of a threat or challenge. When triggered, the body initiates a physiological response, ramping up the sympathetic nervous system, preparing to fight or flee. This response is automatic and deeply tied to past experiences, as the subconscious mind stores previous threats, shaping our reactions long before our conscious mind has time to process them. The body registers the activation first, and only then does the conscious mind step in to interpret what is happening.
However, the moment our conscious mind receives this information, it often does not evaluate the situation objectively. Instead, it overlays a narrative shaped by past experiences, beliefs, and unresolved emotions. Rather than seeing a situation for what it is, the mind labels it based on prior programming and the story telling begins. Our minds are amazing storytellers! Think of the last time you got triggered—what was the narrative around the situation? Maybe a roommate ate your leftovers, and the mind's narrative may have thrown out things like "That inconsiderate roommate is always taking advantage of me! I should just kick them out!" Story, labels, escalated "solution" that will most likely cause more problems than help the situation.
This is where we can get hijacked—caught in a loop of self-perpetuating activation, where our thoughts fuel our physiological response, which in turn reinforces the thoughts, keeping us trapped in an emotional and mental spiral. The sheer intensity of these reactions often feels overwhelming, as if the emotional response is far bigger than the situation at hand. This is where the saying comes in: “If it’s hysterical, it’s historical.” In other words, when our reaction feels disproportionately charged, it’s likely tapping into something much older than the current moment. The mind isn’t just responding to what’s happening right now—it’s pulling from a backlog of unresolved experiences, stored emotions, and past wounds that have not yet been fully processed. The intensity of the trigger isn’t about this one moment; it’s about every moment that ever felt like this one.
But this is also where the opportunity lies. When trained, the mind can slow down, step back, and analyze the situation before reacting. This is the moment of choice: Is this truly a threat or challenge, or am I responding from an old wound?, Where is this volume of emotion and physical response coming from? Instead of being swept away by the body’s automatic reactions, a trained mind can pause, assess, breathe, and respond rather than react. This is the learning opportunity that triggers bring—an invitation to uncover where old programming is still running the show and to consciously choose a different response.
By approaching triggers with curiosity rather than defensiveness, we can use them as portals to deeper self-awareness and healing. Instead of reinforcing limiting narratives, we can reframe them as indicators of where growth is possible. Over time, this practice weakens the grip of automatic reactions, allowing us to cultivate resilience, adaptability, and true self-sovereignty.
The Mind’s Attachment to Control and Fear
How often do you catch yourself mentally scripting out the future, as if considering every potential scenario and outcome will somehow guarantee control or ease? How much time each day do you spend thinking about, planning, worrying about, and trying to predict the future? The mind craves certainty. Of course it does! The mind would rather create an entire mental soap opera about what might go wrong than sit with the discomfort of not knowing. Evolutionarily, this is a self-protection mechanism. To our mind, predictability, certainty, and stability signal safety. It wants to categorize, predict, and control every aspect of life in order to maintain a sense of security. Despite the utility of the mind's ability to stay organized, in our modern world, this same instinct often becomes a prison. We try to control our relationships, our environment, and even our emotions, clinging to rigid belief structures that offer a false sense of stability. But in doing so, we often resist the very changes that would bring us closer to freedom and fulfillment.
At the core of this attachment is fear—fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of losing control. The mind, in an attempt to shield us from perceived danger or emotional pain, constructs narratives about who we are and what we are capable of. It clings to these stories, even when they are outdated or harmful, because they are familiar. This is why people stay in jobs that drain them, relationships that stifle them, or cycles of behavior that sabotage their growth. The discomfort of what’s familiar often feels safer than the unknown. The irony is that true security isn’t found in rigid control, but in the ability to adapt, trust, and respond to life with flexibility and resiliency.
What’s even trickier is that the subconscious mind actively reinforces the status quo. If a part of us is deeply conditioned to believe that struggle is necessary for success, that love must be earned through self-sacrifice, or that safety lies in avoiding risk, we will subconsciously choose circumstances that confirm these beliefs. We may consciously say we want abundance, deep connection, or personal transformation, but if there is a part of us that still clings to the comfort of old patterns, we will unknowingly block or sabotage the very change we seek. This is why self-sabotage is rarely an issue of willpower—it’s an issue of subconscious allegiance to the familiar.
The key to shifting out of this pattern is awareness. Instead of asking, Why is life like this? we must ask, How am I participating in maintaining this reality? or What part of me is this reality serving? This is not about self-blame—it is about self-inquiry. Where are we resisting change because it threatens a long-held identity? Where are we grasping for control because we don’t trust that something better is possible? Where are we mistaking mental certainty for actual security? The mind, when left unchecked, will convince us that control equals safety, but real sovereignty comes from loosening our grip and learning to trust ourselves beyond the need for rigid certainty.
Freedom isn’t found in gripping tighter—it’s found in learning to trust. The more we practice surrendering the illusion of control, the more we step into true choice. This doesn’t mean throwing structure or planning out the window, but rather, developing a conscious relationship with uncertainty. The more we cultivate flexibility—both mentally and emotionally—the more we step into true sovereignty. The mind is not meant to be a dictator; it is meant to be a resource, a tool, a powerful ally in service of something greater than its own survival-based narratives. When we learn to work with it rather than be ruled by it, we unlock a level of freedom that control could never provide.
The Mind-Body Connection: Why Nervous System Regulation is Key
Although I have explored the mind and body separately in relation to self-sovereignty, they are inseparable, constantly shaping and responding to each other in ways that define our experience of self. A dysregulated nervous system feeds a dysregulated mind—when the body remains in a prolonged state of stress, the mind generates fearful thoughts to match, reinforcing patterns of anxiety, overthinking, and self-doubt. This cycle becomes a self-perpetuating narrative, keeping us stuck in survival mode, unable to access the clarity and expansiveness of true silence and peace.
A tense body creates a tense mind. If our nervous system is contracted in high alert, our mind will interpret this tension as a sign of ongoing danger and find a reason to match that state—spinning through worst-case scenarios, overanalyzing, or jumping to conclusions. This is why attempting to shift thought patterns without, first, decompressing the nervous system often feels like an uphill battle—it’s nearly impossible to think our way into calmness when the body is still signaling distress. Trying to ‘logic’ our way into calmness while the body is in fight-or-flight mode is like yelling at a storm to stop raining. The disconnect only makes things worse, amplifying frustration and anxiety. The mind needs a stable foundation in the body to process information effectively; otherwise, it loops through the same fear-based narratives, searching for solutions that cannot be found through intellect alone.
Reconnecting with and regulating the body through practices such as breathwork, somatic experiencing, yoga, cold exposure, and body-based relaxation techniques creates the conditions for mental freedom by shifting the nervous system out of survival mode and into a state of balance. When the body feels safe, the mind has less impetus to grasp for control, allowing our mind to become quiet. Thoughts then become clearer, less reactive, and more intentional. This is where self-regulation becomes a gateway to self-sovereignty—by establishing a sense of internal safety, we create a stable foundation for deep, lasting transformation.
By prioritizing nervous system regulation, we create an anchor for the mind to land safely in the present moment. This grounded state enables us to engage with our thoughts from a place of clarity rather than fear, allowing us to move through life with greater ease, adaptability, and self-trust. A regulated nervous system isn't just about feeling calm—it's about having the capacity to feel a full range of emotions safely while creating a foundation for the mind to relax, expand, and explore new possibilities.
Training the Mind to Observe Instead of Drive
The untrained mind reacts; the trained mind witnesses. Most of us go through life reacting—pulled from one thought to the next, believing every story our mind tells us. But a trained mind? It has the capacity for silence and observation. This silence is not about the absence of thoughts but about creating enough stillness to recognize where thoughts are coming from. Imagine your mind as a still pond. When something stirs the surface, the reflections distort, ripples scatter, and it’s impossible to see what’s below. The same thing happens in our minds when we’re caught in constant thought loops—clarity disappears in the chaos. When the water is calm, you can see straight to the bottom—clarity emerges, revealing not only the depth below but also the precise point where ripples arise. Similarly, when we cultivate internal stillness, we gain the ability to see our thoughts as they form, rather than being lost in them. Learning to quiet the mind allows us to step back and witness our thoughts rather than be consumed by them. This practice of internal silence becomes a foundation for deeper self-awareness and intentionality.
Freedom comes when we stop believing every thought as truth. When we learn to see thoughts as passing mental constructs rather than absolute truths, we free ourselves from their grip. The mind, left untrained, jumps from one worry to another, weaving stories and reinforcing old narratives. Once the mind is locked into a narrative, it brings our awareness and attention with it, actively seeking confirmation of its perspective. If the mind is convinced today is going to be a bad day, then it enlists our senses to pick up on all evidence that reinforces this belief—perhaps noticing only the inconveniences, dismissing any moments of ease, or interpreting neutral events through a negative lens.
In contrast, when we cultivate the ability to observe our thoughts rather than be swept up by them, we can recognize these mental patterns in real time. We gain the power to shift our focus, question our assumptions, and choose a more expansive interpretation of our reality. But when we step into the role of the observer, we gain the ability to choose which thoughts we engage with and which we allow to pass. Awareness creates choice, and choice creates sovereignty.
Training the mind to observe rather than control requires consistent practice. This is where mindfulness and metacognition become powerful tools. By consciously paying attention to our thoughts and questioning their origins, we weaken the automatic patterns that keep us stuck in habitual ways of thinking. Rather than reacting impulsively, we create space between stimulus and response—space where wisdom, clarity, and discernment can emerge. The more we train the mind to watch instead of control, the more freedom we gain. When the mind learns to pause, to question, to observe—fear loses its grip. This is the path to self-sovereignty: no longer ruled by thoughts, but choosing which ones to engage with and which to let go.
Rewiring the Mind for Sovereignty
A still mind creates space for awareness, and awareness grants us the ability to choose. This is the foundation of mental sovereignty—shifting from being ruled by unconscious programming to actively engaging in the process of shaping our inner world. The mind, left to its own devices, will run on default settings, repeating the same patterns and reinforcing familiar beliefs. But when we become aware of these loops, we gain the ability to rewrite them and direct the mind toward alignment with our highest self.
One of the most powerful aspects of rewiring the mind is developing discernment—the ability to recognize which part of us is speaking at any given moment. Is the voice in our mind one of fear, repeating an old survival-based narrative? Or is it the voice of wisdom, guiding us toward expansion? When we cultivate the ability to discern the source of our thoughts, we no longer take every mental whisper as truth. Instead, we can choose which voices to engage with as truth, and which to let pass or work to reparent and reintegrate.
Attention is the currency of the mind. Whatever we invest it in, we strengthen. Spend it on fear-based thoughts, and they grow. Redirect it toward empowering beliefs, those become the new foundation of our mental landscape. This is why self-talk matters—the way we speak to ourselves becomes the programming we live by. Shifting from self-criticism to self-encouragement is not just about feeling better; it is about actively reshaping the neural pathways that dictate our thoughts and behaviors.
Rewiring the mind requires a shift in paradigm. Simply noticing an old belief is not enough—we must actively replace it with something new. This is where intentional mental training comes in. Reframing is a key part of this process, as it allows us to shift perspectives on limiting beliefs by asking, What else could be true? Instead of assuming old narratives are absolute, we can introduce alternative viewpoints that open space for transformation.
Beyond reframing, aligning new beliefs with real-world action is essential. Thoughts alone do not rewire the mind; experience does. When we take actions that support our desired beliefs, we create reinforcement through direct experience, proving to the subconscious that a new way of thinking is valid. For example, if someone is working to release a deeply ingrained belief of unworthiness, actively stepping into self-care, boundary-setting, or speaking up in relationships provides tangible evidence that contradicts the old programming.
This process takes time, patience, and consistency, but the result is a mind that serves rather than sabotages. A sovereign mind is not one that never experiences fear or doubt—it is one that sees these thoughts for what they are: passing waves on a vast ocean, not absolute truth. The key isn’t to eliminate every unhelpful thought, but to build the discernment to choose which ones to give power to. The more we train the mind to support rather than sabotage us, the more we reclaim our role as the creator of our reality
The Sovereign, Mastered Mind: A Tool for Expansion
Imagine standing in front of two doors. One leads to the same cycles you’ve always known—fear, self-doubt, hesitation. The other leads to freedom, creativity, and deep trust. The difference between them? A cultivated relationship with the body and a mind that is working for you, not against you. When we train the mind to observe, discern, and redirect thought patterns, we unlock a level of personal freedom that was previously buried beneath layers of unconscious conditioning. True self-sovereignty isn’t about shutting down thoughts—it’s about changing your relationship with them. It’s the difference between getting caught in self-doubt and recognizing it as an old echo. It’s the shift from reacting out of fear to choosing how to engage with each moment consciously.
A sovereign mind doesn’t override intuition—it amplifies it. It doesn’t try to control the body—it collaborates with it. The more we trust our own discernment, the less we grasp for certainty in things that don’t serve us. Instead of constantly seeking control or reinforcing outdated narratives, the sovereign mind is adaptable, curious, responsive, and open to new possibilities. It becomes a collaborator with the body, intuition, and higher self rather than a dictator that demands rigid certainty. This shift allows for a deeper connection to creativity, personal power, and a sense of inner peace that is not dependent on external circumstances.
When we master the mind, we gain the ability to shape our reality rather than be at its mercy. We no longer live as passive participants in our thought patterns, repeating the same cycles out of habit or fear. Instead, we develop a relationship with the mind where it becomes a tool for expansion, clarity, and intentional living. We become aware of the narratives we feed and recognize that sovereignty is not about never experiencing fear or doubt, but about no longer being ruled by them.
Self-sovereignty is the state of living with the mind as an ally, not an obstacle. Through awareness, observation, and intentional rewiring, we cultivate a mind that works for us rather than against us. This is the path to true mental freedom—not through force, but through mastery, presence, and the unwavering ability to choose our response to life. A sovereign mind doesn’t shrink in the face of uncertainty—it rises to it as opportunity. It doesn’t cling to control—it trusts. The more we train the mind to work with us rather than against us, the more we step into our full creative power. This is what it means to be truly free.
